Attorney O's Midnight Musings: Connecticut Law » Lesbian and Gay Issues

Support the Give A Damn Campaign

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:20:47 +0000

For those who have not yet heard about the Give A Damn Campaign, it is an organization founded by Cyndi Lauper that is dedicated to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality. Lauper founded the True Colors Fund in 2008 after working with homeless LGBT youth. The Give A Damn Campaign was founded later to help increase the public’s awareness of the issues faced by LGBT citizens. It is aimed at educating the ’straight’ population and helping them to become allies of the LGBT community. It’s a worthwhile endeavor and I hope you’ll take the time to check it out.

Go to Give A Damn Campaign

For those in the New York City area (or those who wouldn’t mind traveling to the city), Cyndi Lauper and friends will be doing a holiday show to benefit LGBT youth.

“When I first learned that up to 40 percent of all homeless youth in this country identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender I was shocked and saddened,” says Cyndi Lauper, co-founder of the True Colors Fund and Give a Damn Campaign. “For far too long homeless youth have not received the attention, resources and funding necessary to bring an end to this epidemic. My hope is that through this inspiring evening of music and comedy we can raise awareness and much needed funds to help these young people.”

100% of the net proceeds of the show will benefit LGBT youth. I hope you’ll attend.

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Spirit Day 2011 – Wear Purple to Support LGBT Youth

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:18:36 +0000

Millions of people are wearing purple today in support of LGBT youth and as a statement that anti-gay bullying is wrong and must not be tolerated. Today is Spirit Day.

To show your support today, please wear purple. Then point your browser to GLAAD’s page for tools to display your purple colors and to obtain Spirit Day badges for your social media pages. Click here.

Stand up and be counted today.

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WBC Missed Elizabeth Taylor’s Funeral … So I’ll Treat You to a Movie

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:19:51 +0000

The infamous “God Hates Fags” cult known as Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) had planned to picket Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral last week but mercifully, they did not show up for the event. Margie Phelps, one of the merry little WBC hatemongers, twittered:

“No RIP Elizabeth Taylor who spent her life in adultery and enabling proud fags,” Phelps had tweeted. “They cuss her in hell today. #Westboro will picket funeral!”

Ah, Margie is a piece of work, for sure.

Since the WBC clan failed to make news by picketing Taylor’s funeral, I’ll treat you to a wonderful documentary by student filmmaker K. Ryan Jones titled “Fall from Grace” that debuted in 2007. Jones wonderfully balances interviews and footage of the Phelps clan with interviews by notable people who oppose their viewpoints.

I urge you to watch the film in its entirety which is comprised of 8 clips. The 9th clip is an interview with the filmmaker and shows the Phelps family as they watch the film for the first time. It’s a must see clip, so please don’t skip it.

This is a clip of the Phelps clan viewing the film for the first time. A must see.

Here’s the link to a 2010 ABC News interview with the filmmaker:

The Conversation: Inside the Westboro Baptist Church

Purchase the “Fall From Grace” DVD by clicking here.

You may also be interested in reading some of my older posts on the WBC and its offensive antics posted on my other blog, Connecticut Lesbian and Gay Law:

The Westboro Baptist Church Lawyer Speaks

Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Anti-Gay Church

Westboro Baptist Church Picketers at Elizabeth Edwards’ Funeral Outnumbered

Pennies In Protest … Turn Hate Into Something Positive

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Shame on You, America! It’s Time to End the Hypocrisy.

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 04:00:03 +0000

Warning: If you find this post offensive, you are probably the very person who needs to read it most.

I’m angry. Actually, “angry” is an understatement for what I’m feeling — but I endeavor to be polite.

I’ve had it up to my big baby blues with every racist, bigoted, sexist, hetero-sexist, homophobic, religious zealot, hate-spewing, ignorant fool. You know who you are, so don’t pretend I’m referring to someone else and look the other way.

This is the United States of America. We are supposedly a free and enlightened society. Yet, I can’t make it through one single night without encountering some hateful act perpetrated by someone disguised as a “good” citizen.

Come on, people. Wake up. It’s 2010!

I’ll say it over and over … every night if I must:

Hate is NOT inherent.
We are not born to hate.
We are taught to hate.

[Translation: we are taught to fear that which we do not understand.]

We have a shameful history of hypocrisy in this country and it’s time for us to take a strong collective stand against it. Hypocrisy is not something of which we should be proud.

I’m tired of all of the so-called “family values” groups who expend every drop of energy they collectively have on trying to ruin the lives of others. (California’s Proposition 8, Maine’s Proposition 1, and the current battle in Iowa to rid the bench of justices who refuse to rule against equality are prime examples).

I’m sickened by the religious groups who hide behind a shroud of “righteousness” while they pour enormous sums of money into political causes that will demean and hurt other human beings. Or those religious groups who seem to exist for the sole purpose of spewing hate (the Westboro Baptist Church is number one on my list). If you dare to click on that link, note that their URL is hateful in and of itself.

I’m shocked that so many of you who have been persecuted for who you are will not stand up and fight against the same persecution perpetrated upon other human beings. This list is extensive and most certainly includes those who have been subjected to discrimination based on race, gender, religion, ethnicity, age and disability, to name a few.

This is NOT a politically correct post by any means. I told you, I’m angry.

As a society, we’ve already learned that some things are just plain wrong. For that reason, we have enacted laws against those very things. The Emancipation Proclamation ended slavery. Desegregation laws are on the books. There are now hate crimes laws. The Women’s Suffrage movement earned women the right to vote. This is by no means an exhaustive list but I’m rather sure you are catching my drift.

Why do we then condone blatantly discriminatory laws such as the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) or the military’s longstanding “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy?

I want to scream when someone insists that righting a wrong shouldn’t be “up to the courts.” Folks, it’s not up to the courts to randomly decide anything. Judges and Justices issue decisions based upon our State and Federal Constitutions. I’m not going to attempt to teach constitutional law and procedure in this post, so suffice it to say that if a law or policy violates the Constitution, then it must be struck down. Just because a person (or group) disagrees with something doesn’t mean it is constitutional to prevent other people from being able to enjoy the freedom to do it. Depriving another person of his or her rights should never be acceptable. That’s what living in a free country is all about.

Let’s take a walk back in time for a moment, shall we? It wasn’t so long ago that in the good old U.S. of A. it shocked the sensibilities of the fair citizenry to think that two people who were not of the same religion would have the audacity to marry. Those brave couples were ostracized, ridiculed and shunned by those who were supposed to love and support them. Today, interfaith couples are not a rare phenomenon. It’s fine if you personally disagree with interfaith marriages. You don’t have to participate in one. But it’s not for you to say someone else can’t choose to do so.

Prior to the landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Loving v. Virginia, there were laws against “Whites” marrying “Blacks.” Today, bi-racial couples don’t have to think twice about walking down the aisle. I don’t know how many bi-racial couples exist in the U.S. but I’m rather sure it’s more than one. Again, it’s fine for you to personally disagree with bi-racial marriages. Don’t marry someone of another race. But don’t stand in the way of someone else who chooses to do so.

In the not-so-distant past, people with mental illnesses were locked away in attics or institutions. Today, those afflicted with such illnesses receive support services from the community. Their basic human rights are not only respected but protected by law. They are not denied the opportunity to live happy and productive lives. It’s fine if you don’t agree that mentally ill citizens should have the choice to live in the community rather than being locked away in an attic. But that’s where it ends. It’s simply not for you to decide that such a person’s rights don’t matter.

In fairly recent history, people of different ethnic groups didn’t dare to marry. Oh my word, what a horrific concept! Corrupting the ethnic bloodline was akin to blasphemy. Perish the thought. Such unions might produce mutant offspring (or at least children with awful tempers). Sorry, I was on a roll. Once again, people, if it offends you personally, don’t marry someone of a different ethnicity. But get the heck out of the way if another person chooses to marry someone of a different ethnicity. It’s just not your call.

Are you sensing a theme here?

There are individuals and groups who will fight to the death to prevent same-sex couples from marrying in the name of protecting the so-called sanctity of marriage… yet those same people aren’t picketing the courts to prevent heterosexual couples from obtaining divorces. I wonder why.

I practice law for a living. That means that I spend a good share of my time sitting in courtrooms listening to people testify. I hear amazing stories. Husbands who beat their wives as a hobby, fathers who rape their young daughters because it beats watching television, married couples who cheat on each other with such frequency that they have a lifetime pass to the Holiday Inn … the list goes on.

Not a problem. Nope. Let’s protect those family values.

In the wake of multiple teen suicides related to gay bullying, there are individuals like Clint McCance, who openly spew their homophobic hatred. He serves on the Board of Education in Western Arkansas. If that doesn’t unnerve you, it should.

There are religious leaders such as Boyd K. Packer who preach hatred against gays and lesbians from the pulpit. If he weren’t so sad, I do believe he’d scare me.

There are organizations who live and breathe to make sure that same-sex couples can’t enjoy the simple right to marry the person they love. (And no, allowing same-sex couples to marry won’t lead to laws allowing people to marry their damn dogs).

I’ll cast my eloquence aside for a moment and ask a simple question: What the hell are you thinking?

It’s time to hold people accountable for their hypocrisy, their hatred and their ignorance.

If we have learned nothing from the history of this great nation of ours, it is that in the end, rational, thinking, enlightened human beings eventually come to their senses.

I’m just hoping that it will be sooner rather than later.

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Don’t Tolerate Gay Bullying. Period.

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 01:43:39 +0000

I posted a piece about gay bullying on my other blog, Lesbian and Gay Law, titled Stop Gay Bullying Now! (on October 12th). In the days since publishing that post, I’ve thought a lot about gay bullying. Specifically, I’ve pondered why an educated (and supposedly enlightened) society not only tolerates such abominable behavior from its members — but in some cases, actually condones it.

I decided that a post about gay bullying on a blog with a primarily lesbian and gay readership was rather like preaching to the choir. It occurred to me that the message to stop gay bullying belongs in a more mainstream blog such as this one. Thus, the subject of tonight’s post here on Attorney O’s Midnight Musings.

My message is simple: Don’t tolerate gay bullying. Period.

In preparation for writing this post, I had conversations with several people about the sensitive nature of the subject matter.

I will start by saying that I am NOT challenging your beliefs.
This is NOT an argument against anyone’s religious beliefs or political beliefs.

We live in a country that was founded on the premise of freedom. When the Founding Fathers drafted the Declaration of Independence, they were very specific as to its intent and application:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

The document was meant to protect the right of ALL citizens, not just heterosexual ones. One can argue that the Founding Fathers never meant to include gays and lesbians in the meaning of that text; but we have already exhausted similar arguments from those in our society who believe that those same rights and protections weren’t intended for people of color. We all know better.

I was reminded the other day of a commercial that used to air when I was much younger. There were children of color happily enjoying the swing set in a park with their Caucasian playmates. The message was clear: Hate isn’t inherent, hate is learned.

A child doesn’t come out of the womb hating anyone. He or she learns to hate from society. Often, the hate is passed on in families from generation to generation. Some children don’t even know why they hate something; they were told to hate it and so they do. Many of those children have grown into educated adults who understand that blindly accepting an idea or notion can be a dangerous thing. I applaud those people for taking the time to examine their own consciences and concluding that hate is most always baseless.

When the civil rights movement began, “Whites” marched right alongside their “Black” neighbors. Most — if not all of those “Whites” — were taught to hate “Blacks”. Thankfully, those “Whites” had sense enough to look at their “Black” neighbors as human beings worthy of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. [My apologies for not using "p.c." terms but it just didn't lend itself well to the message of this paragraph]

The first time I heard an elementary school child refer to something as “gay” I was flabbergasted. I asked him what the word meant and he told me “it means when something is stupid or weird then it’s gay.” The word has now invaded popular culture as an expression. It’s damaging to lesbians and gays — not only because it’s a derisive term but because it breeds hate.

Children begin exploring their sexuality at a young age. Identifying oneself as “straight” or “gay” is a private exploration and should be respected as such. When a teen begins to question whether or not he or she is gay, that teen should not be tormented shamelessly by his or her classmates as if being gay is a horrible crime. It’s not. Being gay is the same as being straight. It’s simply who you are.

It’s up to every one of us to educate our children, co-workers, neighbors, clients, friends and yes, even strangers — that being gay is not a bad thing. There’s no intelligent (or even remotely sound) reason to torment a person because he or she is gay.

Teens who are perceived to be gay receive equal amounts of relentless tormenting from peers. If a young boy doesn’t appear “macho” enough, it’s automatically assumed that he is gay. I’m sorry, people, but there are plenty of non-macho straight guys in the world — and just as many macho straight women. You can’t judge a book by its cover — and you don’t have the right to judge any way.

A therapist friend of mine once declared that stereotypes are the worst enemies of a civilized society. I thought about it for a while and understand now, more than ever, why she was right.

In the case of gay bullying, the perpetrators make it so difficult for the person being bullied that often, suicide is the only perceived respite. In an intelligent and civilized society, that is wholly unacceptable.

The increase in teen suicides resulting from gay bullying has risen to epidemic proportions. The availability of social media and internet tools have heightened the ability of perpetrators to bully gay teens to a mass audience (such as in the case of the Rutgers student). When a teen is being bullied, their requests for help often go unanswered by the adults that are supposed to protect them.

In the wake of the recent teen suicides related to gay bullying, the country is on high alert. People are starting to understand that teaching anti-gay messages may lead to the deaths of innocent people.

Unfortunately, not everyone has been educated well enough. There are still people (like Boyd K. Packer) who find it appropriate to use anti-gay rhetoric even after 5 teens have just recently taken their life because of gay bullying. It sickens me.

As this post reaches an end, I implore each one of you to make a difference. It doesn’t matter what you believe — it matters that you don’t have the right to torment another human being such that he or she resorts to suicide.

As Ellen DeGeneres stated, “One life lost in this senseless way is tragic. Four lives lost is a crisis.”

Think about it. Don’t tolerate gay bullying. Period.

I’ll leave you with this video plea from Ellen DeGeneres:

UPDATE 10:10 P.M.

I came upon the following video after posting earlier. It was produced by Give A Damn Campaign:

Same-Sex Weddings in California on Hold Again

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 03:29:59 +0000

According to the SF Gate (San Francisco Chronicle):

“A three-judge panel of the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco issued its ruling without explanation in a short, two-page order that imposed a stay on Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker’s Aug. 4 decision striking down the voter-approved Proposition 8.”

The decision came down on Monday.

Read: Prop. 8: Appeals court puts ruling on hold

Same-Sex Marriage To Resume on Wednesday in California

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:49:31 +0000

Judge Vaughn Walker, the Chief Justice for the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California, has instructed the state of California to resume issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples at 5:00pm PDT on August 18th. His August 4th decision in Perry v. Schwarzenegger struck down California’s Proposition 8 as unconstitutional.

The day after the decision came down, the National LGBT Bar Association hosted a national call-in to provide an analysis of the case and a possible appeal. The event was led by Kate Kendell, the Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and Professor William N. Eskridge, Jr., the John A. Garver Professor of Jurisprudence at Yale Law School. If you were unable to participate, you may listen to the recording here.

Lawyers defending Proposition 8 have said they will seek an immediate stay of the ruling to allow gay marriages to resume next Wednesday.

Here’s a Reuters video report.

Here’s a video report from EuroNews.

Connecticut Law Tribune Article Revisits Same-Sex Marriage in Connecticut One Year Later

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:24:42 +0000

The December 14, 2009 issue of the Connecticut Law Tribune featured an article written by veteran reporter, Douglas S. Malan focusing on what the legal community has seen since same-sex marriage was legalized in Connecticut in November, 2008. The article includes interviews with several lawyers who work with the gay and lesbian community (including yours truly).

Virtually every lawyer interviewed addressed the problems that still exists, even in the aftermath. They include the non-recognition of gay and lesbian marriages in states that have not yet legalized marriages for same-sex couples, the barriers caused by DOMA (the federal Defense of Marriage Act which defines marriage as between one man and one women), and the difficulties faced by same-sex couples who reside in other states who wish to obtain a divorce.

Read: A Year of Questions.

[Source: Connecticut Law Tribune]

President Obama Lifted the Ban on Entry to U.S. for Those with H.I.V.

Irene C. Olszewski, Esq. — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:42:55 +0000

Please watch the President’s speech below: